Making white chocolate pretzel thingies, instructions:
Melt chocolate bar. Insert pretzels, coating sufficiently to cover pretzel, then shake off excess, placing them on wax paper to cool. Once hardened, eat!
Sounds fairly uncomplicated, right? Well, Huston, we have a problem!
The instructions in detail, have a bit more hidden things to offer. First order, get a big pan, and fill it with water. Then get a smaller one to fit inside the first one (that you’ve over filled with water). (Okay, no problem, just pour some of the water out!) Then place the second smaller pan inside the larger, water filled one. (Okay, pour out some more water!) Now, place the smaller pan inside the larger one, and drop in the chocolate to be melted. The water in the larger pan, should be a bit higher than the height of the chocolate in the smaller pan. (Okay, add a bit of water back) Next, heat the water, in the larger pan, to just below the boiling point. (Okay, turn the heat down some, it’s boiling!) As the chocolate begins to melt (wait, how come it’s not melting! Okay, turn the heat back up.), and stir constantly till fully melted to a thick syrup consistency (how come it’s not melting that much?). Ah, the instructions say, add some cooking oil one teaspoon at a time, till you get the consistency desired! Okay, add oil and stir. Okay, add some more oil, and stir. Okay, add some more oil, and stir. Okay, add more oil, and stir. Alright!! Finally we’re starting to melt, and get the desired consistency (good thing, I’m running out of oil)!
Okay, now here’s where things start to get a bit tricky. Your small pan, with the now melted chocolate, is on the stove, to maintain the heat, and consistency, and your wax paper, is eight feet away on the counter, ready for placement. Okay, no problem! Grab some pretzels and just throw them in the pan, mixing, and coating them there, right on the stove (brilliant!)! (“Okay, now what?) Now all we have to do, is take the pretzel, chocolate filled pan, over to the counter, and fish them out. (Great idea!) (Wait, they’re starting to cool, while still in the pan! Not good!) Take the pan, back to the stove and reheat to desired consistency again. Repeat as often as necessary to get these stupid things done (like as many as eight times)! (These things better be awsome!!!!)
After due consideration, and two hours of aggravating work, I’ve come to a conclusion!
Although they taste right, and look pretty much like they’re supposed too,I won’t ever do this again! When these are gone, does anybody know someone dumb enough to do this for me next time?